Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
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10:53 am - Oh boy......
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Yeah what can I say. you know you get that feeling when you just want something to happen and it finally does but then you just feel as though you just want to go to bed and celebrate later. That how I feel right now. I found out last week that I will be gratuating from college next spring. I am happy I am going to get my teacher certifcate. I can't wait. But there somthing that is driving me crazy. My grandma. Just because she didn't get an education she is blaming everthing on me. She always attacks me I don't like it. She is always putting me down. My mom is getting tried of it. She and my grandma have fights about that. After that mom feels guilty because she thinks that she is hard on her. "She is only 82 she might die soon we don't know." Yeah but I don't think it give her the right to attack me with words. I don't know. Well I don't know I got to go now.I hope P and I get married soon then I will get out of there. bye.
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Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
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11:06 am - I am Back.
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Hey everyone. I am in a good mood. As you know I am back. I am at the college just typing. You guys wanna know why I am so happy it is because I saw P yesterday and today. P didn't have to go to work yesterday so he stayed with my until I had to go home. I saw him today before he went to work and I went to class. Well yesterday was fun we couldn't keep our hands off of each other, we just did tickling and little play fighting and we made our firend sick. He was just playing around though. He knows we can't see eachother as much as we want so that is the slide. Well I have nothing else to say because I have home work to do now. I wirte in you laters. JP I tried to call you this weekend but noone was home. I'll try later on this week oK. I want to know everything that is going on. :)
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Thursday, May 13th, 2004
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12:45 pm - Well...Hey
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Still nothing has change. Everything is the same. School almost over next week is finals and after that school ends until summer school starts. yes I am going to take classes during the summer. So I don't know when I will be able to wirte in. So I hope you all have a great summer. JP I still need to talk to you. I will probably call you on sat. Ok got to go now.
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Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
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12:58 pm - Hey Hey Hey I am no fool.
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Hey I like that title I don't know why I put that up there. I just thought it would be very cool. I was just thinking about that song when I worte it. Well I have a confession to make to all of you who read this. I just told JP about this so if you read you already know and yes I still need to talk to you about it and what happen to PJ on Sun. Well anyway I am going to cut to that chase I am preganet I can't spell but I am going to have a baby. Now with everything that is going on with my mom and P I don't know how I am going to tell my mom. I think tha she might kick me out or never let me see P again. I don't know I have so much else on my mind like school and getting job. I haven't told you that P got another job he is working for mechanic. He is happy I am happy for him. Well I got to now I have to wirte a poem for my mom since Mothers Day is coming up latersz. JP hurry up and wirte what went on on Sun I know that I have been dying to know. :)
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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10:40 am
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Last night mom and I had a fight about P. She practacly told me to get out of the house if I want to be with that "bum". She kept on telling me that I am not going to get anywhere with him. I was just thinking that is not ture. I just need to get out of that house but P is afraid that when the time comes I won't leave. He is right, because that is what I am afraid of. I love my mom and I love P too. What P says makes sence and so does what my mom says. But I just can't take it anymore all the degative stuff my mom says about him. P is right I got to make a decision sooner or later. I didn't think life would be so hard when you get this age. I think it just somthing that you have to live with. I used to think I would be happy when I got older but it only the begining of all the hardships in this life. Well I got to go now I'll wirte in here soon. laters :)
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Monday, April 5th, 2004
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1:58 pm - I miss him
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Yes I do. I got to see him last thursday and that was just for a short while. I know what you mean JP when you say about the being in his arms. I was just in Ps arms for about maybe half hour and I didn't want to let him go. But I had to he had to go to work. I really do miss him and I love him so. I feel like I am in an old movie where I am here and he is so far away, not knowing if I will ever see him again. but when I do I don't want to let him go. I just want him back and I want his arms to go around me and never let me go. Well, anyways JP I am in the musical at my church it starts this week. The performances that is. Let see Firday and Saturday it starts at 7:00PM. Suday which is Easter starts at 6:00Pm. See if you can come. I don't think P would come his truck broke down and now he has to get it fixed. Well I got to go now I have a lot of HW I have to do I will try calling you later on this week. Peace and Happieness follow you where ever you go. :)
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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12:52 pm
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nothing much happen this week that is why I haven't worte in here. mom is still pissed at P I just hkope that everything will be ok. Well I got to go now. I'll wirte in here sometime next week ok. Peace with all of you.
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Thursday, March 25th, 2004
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12:53 pm
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I sit an wander
if i am ever going to be ok.
I think of you love
and wish this pain will go away.
I love you more than
anything
but anything is tearing
us apart.
praying, hoping that
God will soon heal our hearts.
I can't stop these tears from
falling
even though I here
you calling.
I want this fear and loneliness
to go away
I want God to stop this
horrble pain.
Does He hear us or are
we just not important enough?
Does He hear our crys now that
things are tough.
I want to think that he
does but I can't
I want to reach out
for your hand but I can't.
I want the peace again
will I have it.
I hope and pray I will.
I love you and be strong for me.
SN: This pretty much sums up what happen to me and what I feel.
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Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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12:48 pm - What a week.
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as you all know last week was spring break for me. It didn't go well at all. P and my mom got in a huge fight. I am going to spare the details but lets just say that he was banded from every seeing me but now my mom has cooled down a bit. But I still am angry with her. She wouldn't even let me talked to him on my b-day.He called but she just said no and hung up. That is how my break went I didn't even had a chance to see him. We got to talk alot yesterday about it. Huh Jp guess what he did? He asked me to marry him yesterday. Yes I did say that. Of coures I said yes. I am so excited I could scream. Even though this mishap is still on with my mom I am very happy. Well anyways we want to get married in may. So everyone please keep us in you prayers please. I have to get going I'll wirte in here later. bye have love and happieness. :)
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Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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3:26 pm - A quick entry
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Well here it gose. My week went very well my b-day is in like two weeks. I am happy about it. I won a free makeover from a beauty place. I won it by going to the bridal fair that was in January. I had to wirte down my name on a paper and they did a drawing and I won. So they are coming to my house on Sat. I can't wait. Well I got to go now. By every one. I have two poem that I worte last week and I keep on forgetting to put them on here so I'll do it tomorrow. bye. Hey JP tell banic P and I say happy bday ok. :)
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Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
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1:46 pm - Hiey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am very happy. I had a great weekend. Saturday me and my mom went to the store and had fun. Then Sunday came that was fun. Mom and I fixed a big turckey lunch for everyone. P and my uncle and my anut came. It was fun we sat around the table and P found out all the crazy stuff that my mom did when she was little. I liked that like I said it was fun. Well after that me and P went bowling and played pool. He won me at bowling and I won him a pool, so it all worked out. I was happy and he was happy. We both needed it. We are trying to help him find another job so mom gave him the newspaper and yesterday he called alot of people he has an interview tomorrow. So everyone cross you fingers and pray for him. But if that dosen't work out my mom had firend who is working at the Dennys and he is going to put a in a good word for us both. Yes I am looking for a job too. well i got to go now I'll wirte in you later on this week. byes
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Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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10:10 am - Hi!
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I am in such a great mood. I am glad that you all liked my poem. I am going to use a term that my firend JP says. I did something this morning that was kind of "fruitloopey". I forgot that on Tues. my teacher said that there was no class today. I came here thinking that there was and then when I came to the Student Activites Center and sat down I then realized that there was no class. So I am here just wirting in here and seeing what is up with everyone and my friend JP. i hope you guys like the Pic of me and P. Now you all know what he looks like. And if you are wandering if he is older then me no he is not. I am older then him. Yes I am. just beleive it. Hey JP thanks again for put the pic up and in your website I saw it and I was soooooooooo Happy. see :) :) :) :). Love yas. Well I got to go now. I have h/w that i have to do. So I'll wirte in here next week. Have a great weekend everyone. Byes.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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5:40 pm - The feeling on love
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The feeling of love
stays with you.
Knowing that no other
man will do.
it that feeling that is
deep within
just knowing that it
will never end
the way you touch me
whats it even more
you are what my hearts
longing for.
my love is for you
and no one else.
every time I hear your
voice how my hearts melts.
I feel as though I am flying high
just like a dove.
This my feeling
of love.
P: I love you and here is the poem I have been promising you. I love you. my Cutie.
SN: I hope you guys like it.
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Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
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3:06 pm
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I had a great weekend. I'll start off with Saturday and go from there. P and my mom both had to work but when they got out of work we went to Home Town Buffet for my uncle bday. It was fun me and P went to the buffet table and I got what he got and he got what I got. It was just to cute. We ate and he is just so amazing he talks to my brother just like they are his friends and that just touched me. Sunday was great even though I wasn't feeling well I couln't go to chruch or the practice for the musical. I hated being sick. Well P couldn't go to church either because his mom and his sis is back for at least until Thrus. That is not that long we can handle it. But I couldn't handle it yesterday whenever I call his house and I know that his mom is there I get all weird and I feel like I can't talk to him. I always complain about it to him and yesterday he got mad at me because of that. I felt bad and I told him that I would try to do better. but I know he wants me to do better then try and I am. I just felt as though I was being the b**ch about all it. Sometime I feel as though I put him through so much crap that it is breaking me apart. Yesterday in the afternoon he and his mom had a big falling out and it ripped him apart and all I could do for him was just tell him that I loved him. I felt as though I wanted to do more for him but couldn't. I finally told him that today. He knew that there was somthing bothering me but I wouldn't tell him. Then I broke and told him how sorry i was for putting all the pressure on him that I didn't mean to and I wished that I could do more for him. He told me that all he wanted from me was to be happy and that alone will make him happy. So from now on I am going to be the happiest GF he has ever had. I feel so go about myself that I am going to burst. I love him so much that it is undescrible. I know you all know how much. He is sweet, kind, generous,talented, great, wounderful, smart, a good kisser. I know what you mean JP about the kissing I get the same feeling every time I kiss P. Well I got to go now. I feel like i am floating on air. :) :)
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
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12:31 pm - A great Valentines Day.
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Yeap, yeap, yeap. I had a great Valentines day. Frist P came and picked me up I wasn't ready of course. Me and my mom were trying to fix my shoe so it wouldn't hurt me when I walk. We kind of got it ok. But later I found something that made it better for me. Well we left around 4:30 pm. We went to dinner frist. We were going to go to a restrant that was new to me, but we couldn't because it was like a three hour wait. So we just thought oh the heck with it. We went to Apple Bees, P has never been there, it was a half an hour wait. That was better than a three hour wait. We had the sampler it was so good. The hot wings were really good. Anyways after the dinner we went to the mall I was wandering why. I ask him and just said "you'll see". I hated whenever he says that. We walk to the Photo Glarey. That was a shock for me. We took our pics. We couldn't get them that night so we had to wait until Monday. Ther was like a dance at the mall for hight schoolers. Yes JP I already sent one to you. Then the last thing we did was we saw 'Mirecal'. It was good. We went home and the very last thing we did when he had to go home was we dance under the stars. It was very romatic. I just about died that ended a perfect evning. I am going to write a poem about it later on. maybe on thrs. Well any Sunday was great my bros and I are in the Easter Musical for our chruch. It looks like it is going to be a very cool musical. I'll tell you JP when it is going to be. Maybe P can pick you up or you can tell Banic to pick you up or something. Well figure it out. Yester day was good P came to my house and tried to fix our computer we had a lot of vireses it is. P got them all out. Well there nothing more I have to say now just that I loved this weeked. JP I'll call you. Ok :)
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
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10:55 am
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To my love
that I have loved so much.
My love is as simple
as your gentle touch.
It warms my body
whereever it goes.
When your body comes near me
how my heart overflows.
Just by the look in your
eyes
tells me that our love
will never die.
I just want your body
near
chasing all away
my darkest fears.
How I want out bodies
to interlock
Our love, our passion for eachother
is like a ship coming in the dock.
Oh to my love how I want you
now and forever.
Please tell me my love
that you will love me forever.
Side note: I worte this for P for Valentines day. I know this is kind of grafic but I read in the Bible Songs of Songs. It is the most romantic book in the Bible that shows how I fell about P. I do love him this much. Just imaganing of how we will make love and all that wonderful things. I know JP it kind of mushy but hey maybe you can give this to Banic. :) JK. ;)
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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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2:42 pm - Hey every one.
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It is I. I hope that everyone had a good weekend. I know I did. P came over to see the Super Bowl with me and my bros. It was fun he bought chips and dip for our little party. we saw it and we bet against eachother. He oues me a one hour back rubb. Ha, ha, ha. He dosen't have money but he is going to take me out for Valtines day. I don't know where he wouldn't tell me. He is a mean bad man. But I love him anyways. :) I got to go now. I'll write in here later on this week. I am going to wirte a poem. Thanks for like all my poems you guys. :) Hey Jp: P says he is sorry. He wishes you grandma would lighten up. who knows? Maybe she has. The sun is allways brighter on the other side. Don't for get that. OH don't for get that you and I are going to start that psycyatric center. :)
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Thursday, January 29th, 2004
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3:13 pm - I am back.
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All these poems that I posted I wrote. All of them were coming through my heart. I have others but I am getting tired of posting them all. If you want to see the rest and how me and P got together please go to Teen Open Diary and my username is Peccm21. I worte all of them in that diary. Right now I got to go now. Bye you all have a great weekend i'll try to post friday.
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3:10 pm
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I worte this the day after we started going out:
Right this moment,
I'm thinking of you.
Right this moment,
my smile shows through.
Right this moment,
I think of us.
Right this moment,
love is contagious.
Right this moment,
I think of your smile.
Right this moment,
it lifts my spirit a mile.
Right this moment,
there's nothing on my mind.
Right this moment,
because your in it all the time.
Right this moment,
I have everthing to say.
Right this moment,
I wish you weren't so far away.
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3:08 pm
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I wrote this one the day before me and P started to go out:
What can I say,
to make you stay, all day.
What can I do,
to make my love for you ture.
Where can I go,
to let you know
that I won't go.
What can I give,
to make us live.
There's only one thing I know of.
That you and I are one in love.
There's nothing I can say or do,
that can match my love for you.
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